Have you ever looked at someone and been enamoured by their presence? Some individuals seem to win people over wherever they go, and the way they carry themselves feels almost magnetic. You may wonder where they get this from – were they born with it or is it something they were able to develop over time? Confidence can seem like something that either comes naturally, or doesn’t, however, this couldn’t be further from the truth! Confidence is a mix of skill and self belief that can be cultivated even later in your life.
I think we can all agree that confidence plays an important role in how we approach life – both personal and professional. If you often find yourself wondering how to work on your own self confidence, keep reading!
What Confident People Do Differently
Confidence is a catalyst to success. The world is full of talented, skilled and knowledgeable people, but not all of them are able to make it big – perhaps the lack of self confidence kept them stuck somewhere.
So what sets confident people apart from the crowd?
– Confident people have high self-esteem. According to studies, high self-esteem is linked to improved health, a healthy social life, and overall mental well-being. Higher levels of self esteem are closely related to higher levels of psychological and emotional resilience.
– Confident people are good communicators. Their confidence helps them communicate effectively as they are assertive and can put forth their demands clearly. Assertiveness is a crucial skill in professional, as well as personal relationships.
– Confident people can easily spot opportunities and avenues for growth.
– People with confidence also have a more positive outlook on life. A confident person is more likely to experience greater satisfaction and enjoyment in life as compared to someone who lacks confidence.
– Confident people can effectively manage self-doubt, and do not let it affect their self-worth.
So, if you want to be successful in life, have healthy relationships with those around you and feel fulfilled, you need to work on improving your confidence.
How to Boost Self-confidence & Self Esteem?
Building confidence is a goal, achieving which requires action. Here are a few simple, yet effective ways to boost your confidence.
1. Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Very often, we tend to get very comfortable with where we are in life. This causes us to become complacent and can hamper our growth and progress. It may feel really scary to do something that is outside your comfort zone, but ultimately, that is what will fuel your self-confidence. Whenever you hold yourself back, ask yourself these 2 questions-
– What will happen in the next 6 months if I don’t step out of my comfort zone?
– How will my life change if I take the leap of faith and just go for it?
Start by identifying the things you’re afraid of, and then devise a strategy to face those fears and obstacles. If you’re someone who’s afraid of public speaking, you could try speaking in front of a small group of people in your neighbourhood. As you start getting comfortable with small groups, you can push your limits by participating in a public speaking competition. Take risks, and allow yourself to make mistakes.
2. Practice Self-Care
A confident person is someone who is comfortable in their own skin. If you want to build your self-confidence, you need to take care of your physical, mental and emotional well-being.
– Set aside some time every day to exercise or do some kind of physical activity like running or dancing. Exercise releases endorphins in the body, which will improve your mood. This causes you to feel more motivated and body positive. When you make physical exercise a consistent practice, you will start feeling healthier and fitter, boosting your self-confidence.
– Have a balanced and nutritious diet. Your body is one of your most important assets. When you feel at your best physically, it translates into feeling at your best mentally as well.
– Make time for things you like. It could be a hobby you had as a child, or something that makes you feel relaxed and recharged
– Meditate or journal to get more in touch with yourself. These self reflective exercises can help you feel more centred and connected to yourself, and only require 10-15 minutes per day.
These simple activities can help you feel more positive, more energetic, focused and in turn; will lead to increased confidence, exactly what you need to achieve your goals!
3. Dress Well
The way you dress can significantly impact your confidence and overall sense of self. When you choose clothing that reflects your personal style and fits well, it can enhance your mood and self-esteem. Dressing well sends a positive message to yourself and others, indicating that you value and respect yourself. This boost in self-confidence can influence how you interact with people, approach tasks, and handle challenges. On the other hand, wearing clothes that make you feel uncomfortable or unkempt can lead to self-consciousness and diminished confidence. How you look also influences how you feel. Therefore, investing time and effort into your appearance can be a powerful tool in building and maintaining your confidence.
4. Invest In Personality Development
Working on creating more dimensions to your personality involves many aspects like self awareness, adopting positive habits or learning new skills. Personality development and confidence go hand in hand. Understand your strengths and weaknesses by reflecting on your qualities, skills, and areas where you can improve. Being honest with oneself about where we need to change is the foundation of growth. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations, and encourage yourself with kind and motivating words to build a positive self-image. It’s important to continue learning and investing in your personal growth by acquiring new skills and knowledge. This could be through reading, taking courses, or attending workshops. These activities can all help you build self-confidence and a stronger, more well-rounded personality.
5. Read More
Knowledge is one of the most powerful assets one can have. The more you know about the world, the more you can contribute to conversations about diverse topics. We commonly feel less confident when we find ourselves among a large group of new or unfamiliar people. When you have even a little bit of information on different topics, you’ll feel more at ease in conversations, be able to share your opinions more freely and break through self-doubt and fear Reading can help you broaden your perspective by giving you information about different cultures while improving your problem-solving skills, increasing your emotional intelligence, and also helping you learn from the experiences of other people.
6. Do More of What You’re Good At
One of the easiest ways to feel more confident is to do things you know you are good at. While building confidence requires getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things, you can nurture self-confidence by continuing to excel in areas where you already shine. Combining growth with mastery creates a powerful foundation for lasting self-assurance. If you lack self-confidence, pick up an activity that you know you are comfortable doing and enjoy. This is going to give you a guaranteed win with minimal efforts. A win makes you feel better about yourself, and can thus give you a quick confidence boost. Once you have identified your strengths, build on them. This is a great way to improve your self-confidence.
7. Have a Circle of Positive People Around You
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” Oprah Winfrey
The people in your life impact you in a significant way. They influence your thoughts, ideas and your personality too. Surround yourself with people who are encouraging, and who motivate you to do better. You may want to limit your interactions with people who are overly critical, and those who constantly seem to put you down. Form a circle of people who value you and have your best interests at heart. This will boost your confidence and restore your faith in your abilities.
8. Learn to Embrace Failure and Replace the Negative Self-Talk
Whatever you do, you will experience failure at some or the other point in life. The impact of failure on your life is influenced by the perspectives you take. You can decide whether you let the failure bring you down, or lift you up. Treat them as opportunities for growth, and learn from them. Another thing that leads to low self-esteem is the negative self-talk you have with yourself. Do you tend to be hard on yourself when you are not able to achieve something or perhaps you talk down to yourself when you’re unsure or nervous?
Observe your self-talk, and replace self-judgement with self-compassion. According to a 2015 study, self-compassion is closely linked to your confidence levels. When you make a mistake, rather than putting yourself down and judging yourself, just try to give yourself some grace. Assure yourself that you can do it, no matter what happens. Being able to have positive self-talk is not something that happens overnight. Practise this every day, and slowly, you will start seeing the difference.
9. Set realistic goals and achieve them
We sometimes tend to overestimate our abilities or the time we have to complete the task and underestimate the scope or complexity of the task. Thus, we end up setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. Naturally, when we aren’t able to achieve them, we feel demotivated, which affects our self-confidence. A great way to build your self-confidence is by setting goals which are realistic in nature. You can use the SMART goal-setting method for this.
– Specific: Evaluate the things you need to do and break them down into smaller tasks. For example, rather than saying, “I want to save money.”, specify the amount you want to save. “I am going to save Rs 5,000 every month.” is a good way to specify your target.
– Measurable: Make sure your goal is measurable in some way. This will help you assess the progress you’re making. For example, if you are looking to make sales in your business, your goal can be making 10 product sales in a month, which you can further break down. Set a benchmark of minimum 2 sales in a week, which will make it easier for you to track your progress.
– Achievable: Whenever you’re setting a goal, make sure it is something you know you can achieve. It would be unrealistic to try to lose 15 kgs in a month if you have a sedentary lifestyle in general. Your goal should be reasonable, and should align with your lifestyle and your core values. When you set an achievable goal, you are much more likely to accomplish it, which will increase your self-confidence, thus motivating you to persevere.
– Relevant: Whenever you set goals, ask yourself, “Is this going to contribute to my ultimate vision in the long run?” If it is something that helps you get to where you want to reach, make it a part of your goal-setting. If not, modify it in a way that aligns with what you ultimately want to achieve.
– Time-bound: Set a timeline to achieve your goals, and stick to it as much as possible. This will give you a clear and tangible roadmap, and will help you keep yourself on track.
Once you have your plan in place, be disciplined and go after it. When you start achieving your targets, you will automatically start feeling more confident.
10. Build Faith in Yourself!
If you want to be confident, you need to start believing in yourself. Of course, that is easier said than done. Start by taking small steps.
– Choose 3-5 affirmations and say them aloud every day. You can either do this in the morning before you start your day, or before you go to sleep. The time does not matter, as long as you’re doing it consistently. This will help rewire your mind into believing that you can do it.
– Write down 3 small wins every single day. We often tend to ignore the things we have accomplished by only focusing on the long-term goals. Celebrate your accomplishments, even if they seem insignificant. When you start celebrating your small wins, you’ll realise how much potential you have, which will do wonders for your self-confidence.
Building your confidence is not as daunting as it may seem. Once you start following these simple steps, you will start noticing positive changes in yourself. Each one of us, at some point or the other, feels like we aren’t good enough. Even if you occasionally have self-doubt, it’s alright! Ultimately, what matters is the effort it takes to build that confidence and get back up. If you need some guidance on your journey towards becoming a more confident version of yourself, get in touch with our experts at Soul Sensei.
“Your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude.”
Michelle Obama
Sources
- Ackerman, Courtney E. “What Is Self-Confidence? (+ 9 Proven Ways to Increase It).” PositivePsychology.Com, 9 July 2018.
- Boogaard, Kat. “How to Write SMART Goals.” Work Life by Atlassian, Atlassian.com, 26 Dec. 2023.
- Bridges, Frances. “10 Ways To Build Confidence.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 21 July 2017.
- “How to Gain Confidence in Yourself: 13 Tips for Self-Confidence.” Edited by Dr. Chris Mosunic, Calm Blog, Calm Blog, 8 Feb. 2024.
- Indeed Editorial Team. “How to Build More Self-Confidence (And Why It’s Important).” Indeed, Indeed, 19 Mar. 2023.
- Morin, Amy. “How to Be More Confident: 9 Tips That Work.” Verywell Mind, 25 Apr. 2024.
